Originally posted on Tocksin:
Feeling demoralized by his environment, twenty years in the same house, fucking the same wife, not able to see his way clear. How to feel the lightness he used to know, how to be once again youthful and free?
Now he just wants to lay around.
When he’s not laying around, he is thinking about laying around. He eats without pleasure because to eat is to feel full, satiated, lethargic, down right tired. He would rather not eat, but eat he does because of that moment that he is biting he is saying pleasure, but soon his stomach puts up an argument, he feels that too familiar feeling of wanting to lay down.
Maybe, I dying he thinks? Maybe I will end my life. But he holds on…to what?
He holds on to the idea that of he can some how see his way clear, that a solution is there…
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